Spoon: “… bacon, and this is the most important part: this bacon should be ultra, super, duper, completely limp. No part of this bacon should crunch. If the bacon gets to the table and it’s still cold, that’s okay 👌.”
All waitresses: 😨
The line cook: 🧐
The other patrons: 😳😱
People who have heard it before: 😂
Spoon: “Listen, have you ever had a crunchy burger? How about a crunchy pork chop? A crunchy steak? … no? So what we’ve established is that meat shouldn’t crunch.”
Random person: Something, something trichinosis
Spoon: Something, something at least I’ll die happy